Episode Five: The Devil You KnowHacker: Europe is a community of nations, dedicated towards one goal.Sir Humphrey: Oh, ha ha ha.Hacker: May we share the joke, Humphrey?Sir Humphrey: Oh Minister, let's look at this objectively. It is a game played for national interests, and always was. Why do you suppose we went into it?Hacker: To strengthen the brotherhood of free Western nations.Sir Humphrey: Oh really. We went in to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans.Hacker: So why did the French go into it, then?Sir Humphrey: Well, to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition.Hacker: That certainly doesn't apply to the Germans.Sir Humphrey: No, no. They went in to cleanse themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race.Hacker: I never heard such appalling cynicism! At least the small nations didn't go into it for selfish reasons.Sir Humphrey: Oh really? Luxembourg is in it for the perks; the capital of the EEC, all that foreign money pouring in.Hacker: Very sensible central location.Sir Humphrey: With the administration in Brussels and the Parliament in Strasbourg? Minister, it's like having the House of Commons in Swindon and the Civil Service in Kettering!...Hacker: Brussels is a shambles. You know what they say about the average Common Market official? He has the organizing ability of the Italians, the flexibility of the Germans and the modesty of the French. And that’s topped up by the imagination of the Belgians, the generosity of the Dutch and the intelligence of the Irish.